"I hate myself, I have for a long time," Harlan Drake told jurors Monday.

Drake said he's never been the same since he was involved in a 2004 car accident that left two teenagers dead.

"I asked the officer, did I just kill two people?" Drake said.

The accident wasn't his fault and he was never charged, but Drake said he never could shake the guilt. Despite therapy and prescription drugs, he said he was very "screwed up."

"I even said to my family I thought of killing everyone then myself so they wouldn't be sad I was dead," Drake said, "but thought that wasn't a good idea."

A psychiatrist as well as Drake's mother also took the stand Monday -- the defense laying the foundation that Drake was temporarily insane in September of 2009 when he shot anti-abortion activist James Pouillon and gravel pit owner Mike Fuoss to death.

It's uncommon for defendants to testify in their own defense, but Harlan's attorney said, it was Drake's decision.

"It's important for the jury to hear from Harlan Drake, they've been hearing about him for so long," Robert Ashley said. "We felt it was important for the jury to hear from him and come to their own conclusions."

Drake did not talk about Pouillon's or Fuoss's shootings on Monday, Ashley said that will come. For now, it was about telling the jury about Drake's past and what led him to this point.

"Something in my head, I don't know what it is, something in my heart," Drake said.

The Defense Attorney said he expects to rest his case Wednesday. The Prosecutor said he believes the case could go to the jury either late Tuesday or early Wednesday.