3000 Lawyers...

By: Jason Colthorp
By: Jason Colthorp

...at the bottom of the ocean-- what do you call it? A good start. Read on.

You're looking at Hitler, Manson and a lawyer.  You've got a gun with only two bullets-- who do you shoot?  The lawyer twice... just to be sure.

"You know why everyone thinks lawyers are backstabbing, blood-sucking scum bags? Because they are!" -- Julia Roberts in Erin Brockovich

We've all heard lawyer jokes over the years and accidentally told them to someone you didn't know was a lawyer (which isn't funny at the time, but much funnier later.)  Anywho, I got this email forwarded to me under the pretense it is a "true story."  And since I got it off the Internet, it must be true.

Lawyer Story

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century.

A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued....and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

NOW FOR THE BEST PART... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.

This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.


In fact, this story is NOT real and there is no such thing as the "Criminal Lawyers Award Contest."  From what I can gather, this story is decades old and has come in many forms since its original inception as a joke.  But it was amusing and I thought, worth passing along to you for at least a chuckle today.

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