Kids Say the Darndest Things

By: Jason Colthorp
By: Jason Colthorp

It's been a whirlwind two days in the ol' Colthorp household.  It started yesterday when my wife called to say my daughter's school called to let her know our kindergartener has lice.  Before you go thinking we're the most unkempt parents in the world with optional bathing and such, let me assure you that lice happens to any child clean or unclean.  At least that's what the handout that immediately went home to every parent yesterday said.  If that's not embarrassing enough, A.J. and I got haircuts yesterday and the situation apparently went unnoticed, but of course, we had to call and let them know.

Stylist: Modern Concepts Salon?
Colthorp House: Uh, yeah, hi.
Stylist: Would you like to make an appointment?
Colthorp House: Not exactly.  We'd like you to check your combs for bugs.

So, after a long night of hair washing, bed-stripping, sheet washing, more hair washing, more laundry, vacuuming of stuffed animals and using those fine-tooth combs, my wife discovered it was only A.J. affected.  However, since she ended up in our bed the last two nights, our room had to be torn apart and our hair checked along with my 8-year old. 

That's A.J. (pre-larvae) on the left with Sam and Leah

Today, I gave A.J. the once over to make sure everything was gone in her still very long mane and found a few questionable leftovers.  An hour and a half in of me going through her hair piece by piece, I kissed her and told her she was doing a good job.  She looked up at me so sweetly and said, "Daddy, I just want you to know that I love you very much."  I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as she pursed her lips like she realized the gravity of how deep what she'd said touched me.  "But, not as much as mommy."  Moment over.

I guess I'll cancel the call to Parenting magazine to inquire how one goes about getting nominated for Parent of the Year.

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  • by Lilly Location: Lansing on Nov 22, 2008 at 07:47 AM
    Jason, just to let you know that when our children were little, we went through the same terrible experience. Ashamed, I went to the pharmacy to purchase several bottles of lice shampoo. The pharmacist, who knew me well, said the following to me: You know, lice actually prefer clean environments. On the other note, now that we are grandparents, when the little one comes to stay overnight occasionally and when his parents come to pick him up, he hides from his parents to pretend like he doesn't want to go home. It's a good feeling to know that you are favored (even if just for a day). My children are wonderful parents, but just that moment of "I'm not done yet being the center of Grandma and Grandpa's attention" lets them know also, that they can trust us to be taking care of their little one as best as we can.
  • by Jim Location: Dakar, Senegal on Nov 21, 2008 at 04:02 AM
    Just checked, no lice here. Just ANOTHER fine example of the advantage of being bald.
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