Shut Up and Drive!!!

By: Jason Colthorp
By: Jason Colthorp

I've had it with drunk drivers, who are not actually drunk, they're talking on the phone.

I'm mad as hell and I can't take it anymore!  After slamming on my brakes on the highway today as another car awkwardly changed from the right lane to the left lane, I was shocked-- shocked I say-- to find a woman fully engrossed in a phone call.  Oblivious to the world and the traffic around her, just chit-chatting her pretty little head off.  If I'd had my kids in the car I wouldn't be able to even see straight right now.

Now, that said, yes I have talked on my cell while driving.  But, I try to keep the conversations brief-- like under a minute-- and I always try to stay in the right lane and not change lanes, make turns, etc. where I will be endangering other people b/c now it's impossible to see over my left shoulder.  All I'm asking-- no, demanding-- is people put the damn phone down and drive!  That hands-free law can't come soon enough.  And if you think I'm hot about this right now, consider this-- I was ready to write this 3 hours ago, but the Intertubes were clogged up at work.  If you disagree with this post, just wait for the next time a teenager starts to get over and at the last second gets back in their lane, and when you get alongside you see a cell stuck to their head. 

Ranting about this at work, I wished about my dream product-- a lit sign in my back window with apt statements for the other drivers who are yapping away and endangering others.  Come to find out, there's actually such a thing.  Our head tech guy couldn't remember the exact name, but it's like a sign for drivers you can write a message on for them to see.  Probably not safe for you to do at the time, but I know what mine would have said today: "HANG UP THE PHONE, LADY... YES, YOU IN THE CAVALIER!  YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL!!!!!!!"

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