Run For the Border

By: Jason Colthorp
By: Jason Colthorp

My vacation is less than a day old and already I've made an idiot out of myself.

Greetings from Cape Cod, Massachusetts!  We're here for the week after a nice 14-hour drive Monday.  We're staying with my friend Jim.  You know him-- he's the guy who comments here from time to time under assumed names.  His family is tremendous.  Last year we stayed with his sister Mary and this year we're staying with his sister Betty.  It's a big week for their fam-- it's called the Orme Cup.  In honor of Jim's late brother-in-law Jere O'Sullivan, the family has week-long festivities (meaning lots of drinking especially Wally) including a golf tournament Friday and culminating in a 5K Race on Saturday for about 75 people on the Cape. 

Anywho, on our way here we had a pretty funny encounter at the Canadian Border Station at Port Huron.  So funny, my wife is still laughing about it.  In my defense, I have never gone through a border station.  I have gone through Canada, but that was to-- uhhhh... observe the culture of a beautiful land where the drinking age is 19.  Long story short, I don't remember coming back into the United States.  Monday morning we left for the east coast at 5 a.m.  We avoided Flint rush hour and hit Canada at 8 a.m.  This is the conversation that followed at the border:

Canadian Border Agent:  Citizenship?

Me:  3 passports and a birth certificate.  (CBA slowly looks back up.)  I mean, United States.  I'm a little nervous-- this is my first time.

CBA:  So, where is everybody from?

Me:  (Looking around)

Julie: (From the passenger seat) St.  

Johns, Michigan.

Me:  Yep.  (As Julie starts to giggle)


Jules was sure we were going to be detained.  She also found the whole thing funny enough to keep her laughing for 80 miles of Canadian countryside.  And by "laughing" I mean could barely catch her breath.  Like I said, I had never been across the border and when he asked where was everybody from, I thought he wanted everybody to answer.  At any rate, Jules' little comedy routine was still a hit by the time we hit New York:


Julie:  'Hey, 20,000 people at Common Ground, are you ready to rock?'  'Citizenship?' 'Uhhhhhhhh.... (gulp)!!'

Like I said, that was followed by hysterical laughter.  It finally subsided by the time I caught the Massachusetts Turnpike.  The emotional scarring is just now starting to subside.  And since Wally is now declaring that my blogging is anti-social I will wrap this up.  Stay tuned for more updates from the land where I have already heard, "Get in the caaa and we'll go to the baaa."

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