Talking Out Loud

By: Jason Colthorp
By: Jason Colthorp

Why are people with NASCAR stickers on their car the slowest drivers?

Random thoughts on the world around me...

WORK

Sometimes it's funny being hung out to dry by your producer-- ok I just sat for 5 minutes and tried to remember a funny example and there isn't one.  It sucks being hung out to dry by your producer.  Sometimes it's little like saying Michigan is dealing with a 600-dollar budget deficit.  Oops, somebody forgot the word 'million.'  Last night, Adela handles the Ted Kennedy story... brain tumor... grim prognosis... sound from Senator Robert Byrd crying... and then right to me for Tease One... "The only guarantees in life are death and taxes.  At 11:13, we'll tell you which one is getting more expensive..."  Ugh.

POLITICS

I see Senator Arlen Specter is not satisfied with the NFL's handling of the SpyGate saga i.e. the penalty for Bill Belicheck and the patriots for secretly videotaping opponents is insufficient.  I have only one request of my lawmakers-- just one.  Well, two, but i think "Don't end up on a brothel's 'Best Customers' list" goes without saying.  One request: Work on things that matter.  You're spending your time and our tax dollars on football, while Bin laden is still running around plotting to kill Americans.  Seriously, leave sports alone and find Bin Laden!  Sports may not be able to take care of some things itself, but if it gets bad enough the fans will tell them to stick it and they'll figure it out.

Does Hillary just not have anyone on staff who knows how to write a concession speech?

Rep. Rick Jones of Eaton County will definitely run for Governor one day.

SPORTS

The Stanley Cup Finals will be very interesting for me.  I want the Wings to win... in 7 games.  I know.  It's because my mentor, former Channel 10 sports guy Ben Holden gets to work games 5 & 7 at the Joe for ESPN's International broadcast as a rink side reporter.  If the Wings sweep he doesn't even get one game.  God forbid they GET swept, because then reporter Jamie Edmonds and her Pittsburgh Penguins paraphernalia will force me into seclusion.  I like her enthusiasm though.  Throughout the conference finals, she would beg people not to tell her the Pens score so she could go home and watch it on tape later in her Pens jersey.

Pistons look like a team that thinks they are "owed" another title.  the work hard, grind it out, hard-nosed defensive scheme died with Larry Brown.  He's not actually dead, but you get the idea.  Every time I watch them play I can hear my JV basketball coach as he grabbed my jersey and screamed, "COLTHORP, MOVE YOUR BUTT AND GET IN FRONT OF THE MAN!"  Lackadaisical.

Keith Nichol transferring to MSU is huge.  Hope for the future!  If he turns out to be the QB he's hyped to be, this could be the start of getting some big-name recruits to come to East Lansing again and get some wins against UM.

LIFE

How can kids be so pure when they're playing baseball and then be so mean on the school playground?  It's amazing how one kid can inspire others to be so cruel.  Trying to teach a child to stand up for others in those situations is pretty tough, but when they do it, it's incredibly uplifting.  Way to go, Leah!  If every little guy stood up together against the big guys they would send them running back home.  Good lesson for the adults.

TV

American Idol... David is the best and should win.  If he doesn't I will shave my head.

RANDOM

Why are people with NASCAR stickers in their window the slowest drivers on the road?

My wife's birthday is May 28th, but she went shopping last weekend and said she spent a ton and said that can be her birthday present.  Does this mean I don't have to get her a present now?  Or should I get a little gift?  Maybe if this was year one of marriage I would fall for option 1, but for all you young married guys, take from a Year 9 guy.  When a woman says don't buy me something-- buy her something.  Doing the opposite of what your wife says is usually what she wants: 

"Don't worry, I'll clean up."  (You better help her clean up.)

"I am going to the Art Fair, but you don't have to go if you don't want."  (Not only does she want you to go, she wants to make a day out of it.  A romantic, money-spending day.)

"This outfit/makeup/haircut makes me look hideous."  (No, it makes her look younger.)

"That's an interesting shirt."  (Change your shirt.)

"I love you."  (She hates you.)

OK, maybe not hate, but you tell me what's going on when she tells you that the laundry basket has been there for two weeks because she was testing you to see how long it would take you to put it away.  And you failed.  And she now has a lawyer on speed dial.

So, anyway, not only did I get her a gift, but I spent a ton on it.  Hopefully that will buy me a summer off from laundry duty.

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Comments are posted from viewers like you and do not always reflect the views of this station.
  • by Jim Location: Boston on May 22, 2008 at 07:46 AM
    Arlen Specter is cut from the same cloth as Dan "Titan of the Game" Burton. They are both clueless. Why doesn't the NFL pursue Spygate anymore? BECAUSE THE PATRIOTS DIDN'T DO ANYTHING EVERY OTHER TEAM WASN'T DOING AS WELL! When is Arlen going to get over the fact that his Steelers were a one and done SuperBowl team and get to the work of the people? My guess is next up on his Dayplanner is hearings into shortstops stealing signs. Give me a break. And who is this Leah? She sounds like a good kid.
  • by Jason Location: newsroom on May 21, 2008 at 01:12 PM
    Dan... uhh, thanks for the comment. After posting this I read a conspiracy theory on why Simon is fixing the Idol finale for David Cook to win. By heaping too much praise on Archuleta and scolding the other David, one voice thinks Simon is trying to create sympathy for Cook helping him to the win b/c he'll make a better album, hence make Cowell more money. THAT is why I don't watch these crazy reality shows. Now if you'll excuse me, I must get back to the "LOST" message boards to get another take on the smoke monster.
  • by DAN Location: SPRINGPORT on May 21, 2008 at 12:25 PM
    SICK?? TRY THIS OUT. HERE WE SIT IN A BIG MONEY CRUNCH AND LOSE OF HOMES NO INSURANCE AND ALL I SEE IS THIS (Obama spent $36.4 million over the course of the month, McCain--The Arizona senator raised $18.5 million in April, Clinton She reported $21.9 million in contributions.) ADD THAT UP. THAT IS JUST APRIL?? AND IT IS FOR THE ELECTION FOR PRESIDENT. HOW ABOUT TAKE THAT MONEY AND PUT IT IN A POT AND DIVY IT OUT AND HELP PEOPLE WITH INSURANCE FOR THERE HELTH AND TRY TO SAVE THERE HOMES. I JUST THING THAT IT SUCH A WASTE AT THIS DAY AND TIME. THIS COULD GO ON AND ON BUT YOU CAN SEE WHAT IS BEING SAID. (ATLEAST I HOPE SO)
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